Dispatches from behind the picket fence
Okay, two new finds that are well worth the investment:
Viñas Chilenas, from Trader Joe’s, at $2.99 a bottle. The Cab is better than the merlot, but they are both totally drinkable.
Big Kahuna Cab/Shiraz from Fresh & Easy, for a measly two bucks. Not as good as the Viñas Chilenas, but it smokes Two Buck Chuck.
I keep trying to find a new job. One that pays better, is steady, and is more suited to my particular skills, passions, and talents. I am not sure what type of job this actually is, so I thought I would switch things up, and put the ball in the court of the employers. I’m open to just about anything. Here is a (partial) list of my qualifications and experience:
You’re out there. You need me. I am the only man perfectly qualified for the job. Just call.
There, I Fixed it. Some fantastic examples of human ingenuity and do-it-yourself engineering. Enjoy.
So, thanks to Facebook taunting from The Wife’s cousin (update your blog already, Dooran!), I have started doing this 100 Pushups challenge thing . Probably most (if not all) of you reading this have already seen me muttering about it on Facebook. Anyway, here it is in short:
Some dude put up a series of charts that supposedly will get you doing 100 consecutive pushups after six weeks of doing sets of pushups 3 times a week. I am halfway through week 3, and it seems to be working – I did a total of 100 pushups this morning, spread across 5 sets and 15 minutes.
It is impossible to be manlier (left) or foxier (right).
I think I like it because there are a bunch of charts and stuff, and because doing 100 pushups in a row seems old school manly, like something that the Sean Connery of Thunderball could have done.
So, what is the point? A couple of things: I have been posting this on Facebook and telling everyone I know I am doing it to keep my lazy self accountable. The idea is that I will feel like a real ass if I have to tell everyone that I quit.
More significantly, it is the first time I have kept to any kind of a workout or fitness regimen for longer than two consecutive sessions since I was 15 years old and Coach Winstead yelled at me to “get my little peenie” into the wrestling mat.
This fits into my whole trying-to-be-a-grownup thing. Like, what kind of a man do I want to be? What example am I setting for my sons? One of the things that I was always in awe of as a kid was how physically strong my dad was. I want to be strong like that for my sons. I have always had a real tendency toward being a pale kid, and I want better than that for my boys.
This is the origin of the term “pale kids.” This show was great, and doesn’t get nearly enough run.
I heard some thing on the radio about character being developed by making small promises to yourself, and then keeping them. This in turn leads to bigger promises, and then promises to others, etc. I suck at this. 100 Pushups is my first concerted effort to assert some discipline over this part of my life.
Plus, The Wife said she’d make me shepherd’s pie if I can pull it off.
So, yesterday I was watching the Travel Channel – one of those shows about a tribe in Brazil or somewhere that starts with the “Warning: Indigenous Nudity” message. The group in question was completely naked, except for huge wooden lip plugs, and feather headdresses glued to the foreheads of the women.
About halfway through, the LittleDoo wakes up from his nap and wanders downstairs. He sits down and watches the show with me, not saying a word. This is highly unusual – unless Special Agent Oso is on, he always wants me to turn on one of his shows.
After it ends, we had this conversation:
Me: What did you think of the show?
Boo: It was good.
Me: What did you think about the people?
Boo: They were big.
Me: ?
Boo: Big enough to go outside yif no shoes on.
Then, later on, discussing things further with Mama:
Mama: Why do you think they were naky [trans. "Naked"]?
Boo: Maybe they wanted some sun.
I have been filling out a lot of those stupid “Top 5″ things on Facebook lately, as I spend a lot of time late at night with a baby on my lap in front of the computer. It got me to trying to think of an all time top five – things that are the absolute, undeniable best things for their given category. The Wife and I play these sorts of hypothetical games a lot, and here is what we came up with.
The rules:
To qualify, each selection must be the number one possibility in its category, and number two can’t even be close. No one with a brain could possibly make a reasonable case for something else to compete for the top spot. This eliminates a lot of stuff – for example, The Wife and I agree that Annie Proulx writes the best short stories, but I wouldn’t throw rocks at someone who made a case for Jhumpa Lahiri. These things are the unqualified and unarguable greatest ever. Not agreeing is akin to still having a “W” sticker on your car – it tells me everything I need to know about you. [If you disagree with any of these choices, best not to let me know. I'll fight you. Dirty. With broken bottles.]
1. Cuisine – Mexican food
This one was easy, to the point where it seems redundant to even mention it. Chips and salsa by themselves defeat every other type of cuisine. Guacamole, carne asada, taquitos, enchiladas, street tacos, menudo, posole, burritos, fajitas… it’s all here. Wash it all down with a couple of Pacificos or a margarita. I’m partial to Cali-Mex, but every regional variation is great. From Rick Bayless to your abuelita to Del Taco to Little League snack bar nachos, Mexican reigns supreme.
2. Morning Beverage – Coffee
Nothing without caffeine is even worth mentioning, so you can keep your fresh squeezed OJ. A good hot cup of regular American coffee is the only way to go. Ideally, the coffee should be freshly ground, and if you’re feeling jazzy you could even make it in a french press. In a pinch though, AM/PM coffee will do the trick. Cream and/or sugar is acceptable (if you’re a wuss), but for heaven’s sake leave out those abominable flavored creamers, or worse, flavored beans. Don’t be bringing your Starbucks crap in here either – lattes are fine and all but they are no comparison, and Starbucks can’t brew a decent cup of regular coffee any more than I can fart the national anthem. Energy drinks are for low-pants wearing no ‘counts who hang out in front of the Palm Market.
The smell of coffee is almost enough by itself. When you mix in the fact that it is the perfect complement to any and all breakfast foods, as well as a perfectly acceptable stand-alone experience, it is clearly the only possible choice.
3. Music – The Rolling Stones
If you know me at all, you saw this one coming. It’s all about the Stones. The greatest rock band of all time. The Beatles are great and all, but John and Paul can’t hold Mick and Keef’s jocks. They peaked between 1968-1972, and the albums they recorded in this period are the finest examples of straight up rock ‘n’ roll, blues rock, and country rock ever produced.
4. TV Show – The Office (UK)
We had to discuss this one for a bit, but before long the answer was obvious. If you haven’t seen this yet, do yourself a favor and check it out, especially if you’re a fan of the American version. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cheer, you’ll be glad you don’t live in Slough. Funny and poignant, too good to miss. If you rent the series, be absolutely sure to get the Christmas special that ends the series.
5. Comic Book Series – Sandman
Alan Moore is overrated. There, I said it. Neil Gaiman’s Sandman is hands down the best ongoing comic series ever written. Seventy-some-odd issues of genius.
With its goth stylings, brooding main character, and Shakespearian aspirations, it ought to be insufferable and pretentious. It isn’t. It is simply a great read from beginning to end, and unlike anything else in any medium.
One of my many jobs is a vinyl & leather repairman. Our company services Southern California, and our website needs some more exposure, in the form of incoming links and clicks. To that end:
Click on this bad boy
We repair auto and marine interiors, and service both private customers and those within the industry. We especially like it when insurance adjusters put us directly on their estimates.
You need Anasazi beans.
Like pinto beans, only better. Use them the same way. If you have ever trusted me on anything, trust me on this.
[This story is about 3 weeks old, from right before Henry was born]
So, my nearly 10-month-pregnant wife was waddling through the mall the other day, and the ShamWow guy yells to her from about 30 feet away “Hey! This could come in really handy if your water breaks!”
Thanks to breadteamblr, I have a new favorite online comic, called The Perry Bible Fellowship. Okay, technically it isn’t an online comic per se, but whatever. It’s funny.
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