When I got to my boss’ house this morning, he was eating grocery store bakery cookies for breakfast. He grinned at me, and said “I promised myself when I was a kid that when I grew up I would eat cookies for breakfast. And now I’m doing it.” He was pretty pleased with himself. It got me thinking about what exactly it means to be a grownup.

You see, it has become increasingly apparent to me, at age 31, that I am now an official grownup. Embarrassing, I know- I really wasn’t comfortable with the idea until pretty recently. It all started several years back, when I finally wore out my favorite pair of camouflage pants. I was grumbling that I needed to go to M&I Army Surplus to get a new pair (I hate spending money on clothes, and it takes me about six months of muttering before I will finally give in) when The Wife (then The Girlfriend) asked me if I didn’t think I was getting a little too old for the army surplus pants. To my shock and horror, I realized she was right.

Now, many years later, I am married, a parent, nearly a homeowner (I hope), and have a graduate degree with the student loans to prove it. I am graying at the temples (and elsewhere), a phenomenon that I describe as “badger-head”, but which actually looks kind of like this:

...or so I hope.

Anyway, by just about any definition of the word, I am officially an adult. Not even a “young adult” anymore, having moved out of my twenties and into what are supposedly my “prime earning years.” (Still waiting for that to start. You’d think I would have that whole what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up thing sorted out by now.) This realization still kind of freaks me out. To some extent, that is the reason I started this blog – to reflect on the pleasures and strangeness of adulthood as I experience and embrace it.

Here are three things that suck about being an adult, in no particular order:

You look like a dumbass if you wear a baseball cap backwards all the time. This is something I have always done, and you can get away with it up to a certain point, but eventually it just makes you look like a jerk. As much as I like to wear my baseball cap backwards, I really don’t want to be “Backwards Baseball Cap Guy.” I might as well get a mini-monster truck, barbwire arm band tattoos, sport a goatee, chew tobacco, and pick up a couple of DUIs. That’s what Backwards Baseball Cap Guy would do. That, and get into fistfights at Hooters.

You still have to go to work when you’re sick. And now that they changed the formula for DayQuil, (damn you, tweakers!) you really have to just suffer through it. I think that this may be the single worst thing about being a grownup – the world does not stop, or even slow down for you when you’ve got a head cold. You just have to be miserable and suffer through it.

You have to buy tires. Just when you think you might be able to squeeze out a little wiggle room in this month’s budget, you have to drop over $500 on tires. Paying for car maintenance stinks. You don’t even get anything tangible for your money, just the same old car on the road.

“Blah.” said Toad. (Alas for you if you don’t get that reference)

Three random things that rule about being an adult:

Naps are as rare and as glorious as a trip to Disneyland was when you were a kid. Pure heaven.

You really do get to eat cookies, or Western Bacon Cheeseburgers, or whatever for breakfast.

Hearing a loud and happy cry of “DADDY!” and the sound of little feet tearing across the carpet towards the front door before you’ve even got your key out of the lock. Nothing in the world beats getting tackled by your three-year-old after a long day at work. That sounds so cliche, but is absolutely true.

I invite anybody reading this to come up with your own additional lists of three in the comments.