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So, yesterday I was watching the Travel Channel – one of those shows about a tribe in Brazil or somewhere that starts with the “Warning: Indigenous Nudity” message. The group in question was completely naked, except for huge wooden lip plugs, and feather headdresses glued to the foreheads of the women.
About halfway through, the LittleDoo wakes up from his nap and wanders downstairs. He sits down and watches the show with me, not saying a word. This is highly unusual – unless Special Agent Oso is on, he always wants me to turn on one of his shows.
After it ends, we had this conversation:
Me: What did you think of the show?
Boo: It was good.
Me: What did you think about the people?
Boo: They were big.
Me: ?
Boo: Big enough to go outside yif no shoes on.
Then, later on, discussing things further with Mama:
Mama: Why do you think they were naky [trans. "Naked"]?
Boo: Maybe they wanted some sun.
The current favorite show around here is Handy Manny, which I am pretty sure is on Playhouse Disney. Honestly, I can never remember which kid’s channel is which.
Anyway, it is pretty cute. It is a computer animated kids’ show (they all seem to be that way now) that features a super-friendly handyman and his box of talking tools. It has a Hispanic flair, with a theme song by Los Lobos and a largely accented cast of characters, who mix in bits of Spanish with their speech to help teach the kiddies. There are folks out there who claim the show is racist, because it features a Hispanic guy who is a repairman. That’s a bunch of crap. It’s a good show, with lots of stuff about helping, being useful, friendly- all that good stuff. Plus, the neighbor guy, Mr. Lopart, has a matching combover with his cat. Sweet.
The show does have another element, though, that I am pretty sure the kids aren’t picking up on. You see, Manny is voiced by none other than Wilmer Valderrama. The same Wilmer Valderrama who ruined the reputations of former good girls Mandy Moore and Lindsey Lohan. It’s weird to think of LiLo as having a reputation to besmirch, but she did, until ole Fez came along…
Anyway, for whatever reason, Mr. Valderrama clearly has a way with the ladies. What’s interesting, though, is that this trait seems to have passed on to his animated counterpart. The plot of an episode of Handy Manny basically goes like this: Manny and the tools hang around the shop until a call comes in for a fix-it job. They go to the site, look at the job, and determine what parts they will need to take care of it. Then they go to Kelly’s Hardware Shop, pick up the required materials, and fix the problem. The end.
Pretty much every episode involves a lot of interaction with Kelly, the pretty blond owner of the hardware shop. Although the show never alludes to it directly, Kelly is clearly all over Manny’s jock. She follows him around like a puppy, desperate for the least bit of attention or approval, and says stuff that, if heard through the Valderrama prism, is highly suggestive. It isn’t just Kelly, either. The mayor is a total cougar, and every other female character behaves in the exact same way. It’s hilarious.
Now, I don’t mean to suggest for a second that the show is inappropriate for kids – quite the contrary. They would never notice any of this stuff. Grownups, on the other hand, should be able to see it right away. I defy anyone to watch the show with this in mind and disagree with me.
Took The Wife and Littledoo to see Wall-E at the cheap movie theater by our house yesterday. I’m generally a fan of the Pixar movies, and this one wasn’t bad. Not as good as The Incredibles or anything, but it was fun taking the big guy to the movies. Here’s one of those things that you don’t know unless you have kids: they have booster seats at the movie theater. Even the cheap movie theater. I got a huge kick out of watching him perched atop his seat, happily stuffing popcorn into his face as fast as I would let him.
If you’ve never had the experience, I highly recommend going to see a little kids’ movie in a theater packed with the under-6 crowd. Their responses, gasps, laughter, and running commentary are infinitely more entertaining than even the best MST3K episode. Well, except maybe the one with Gamera.
The best part of the movie was right at the end. Wall-E has been badly damaged, and his robot girlfriend Eve has to rebuild him out of spare parts. Wall-E reawakens, but does not recognize her, or have any memory of his former quirky personality. He methodically rolls out of his home, and in the process crushes his cockroach sidekick beneath his treads without so much as a pause. It is a very sad scene, and the whole theater was silent, except for the Littledoo, who burst out laughing at tremendous volume. He thought it was hilarious.
I love having a boy.
I love that so many of my favorite childhood cartoons have found their way onto cable TV. Me and Littledoo have been enjoying watching one of them in particular – my all-time favorite, Spider-man and his Amazing Friends.
I could not have been more obsessed with this show, which originally aired when I was five years old. I’m pretty sure it is what turned me on to the whole superhero thing in the first place.
I am sure that the whole reason that they are re-airing these chestnuts is in the hope that guys of my generation will watch them with their kids. Or, barring kids, watch them alone with a box of ding dongs and a six-pack. Whatever. I’m enjoying myself, and so is my three-year-old. He especially likes the part where Peter Parker gets bit by the spider.
Now if only I could manage to record that episode of the Smurfs where they are all biting each other in the butt… nobody else seems to remember this, and I am starting to think I made it up.
As I remember it, some weird fly or something bites one of the smurfs, which turns him purple and stupid. He then runs around yelling “Nyub! Nyub!” or something like that, and then passes along the condition by biting other smurfs in the butt, who in turn bite others, etc. etc. Actually, now that I think of it, it is basically a smurf zombie story. No wonder I liked it.
*****
Ha! I love the internet. I just found proof the episode exists.
Purple Zombie Smurfs - Click to see the whole episode!
Apparently I remembered it pretty much correctly, and it is from an episode in 1981 called “The Purple Smurfs.”
Anyway, I am about to watch Thundarr the Barbarian for the first time since 1984 or so. Can’t wait.
*****
Okay, Thundarr just started. Awesome post-apocalyptic mish-mash of Star Wars and Conan, with absolutely no effort made to hide the blatant ripoff of both. Thundarr looks exactly like He-Man, but he is basically Conan with a lightsaber. It is actually kind of dark for a kid’s show – post-apocalyptic sword and sorcery, kind of like Gene Wolfe. It actually reminds me a lot of The Book of the New Sun.
Watching this now, and rereading the first part of this post, I have come to the realization that Saturday morning cartoons totally shaped my adult interests. Everything I think is cool now, I was watching at age five (including Cubbie games on WGN all summer long) with a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Weird. Either that stuff was super powerful, or I am seriously stunted. Or both.
This is a great book. The Littledoo loves all things Halloween, and we are both fans of this one.
No Zombies Allowed, by Matt Novak
From Publishers Weekly
Novak (The Pillow War) turns the habits of zombies, witches, werewolves and other creatures from haunting to hilarious in this tale of an annual monster bash. As wart-nosed and pop-eyed witches Wizzle and Woddle prepare to host the party, they discover photos from last year’s soiree that make them reconsider the guest list. “Those zombies kept dropping their eyes into the punch bowl,” they recall, and “the skeletons kept calling everyone Fatso.” The pair posts one sign after another (“No zombies allowed”). Whimsically patterned spreads reminiscent of Tedd Arnold’s work depict enlarged snapshots of their friends’ shenanigans against backgrounds of Pepto-Bismol pink and scaly green. Two cartoon-like zombies-one holding his eyeball and the other with only a tattered sleeve where an arm should be-mug for the camera in one; in another, swamp creatures party in the toilet and tub. But when the witches recognize each other as the culprits in a pair of pranks, the guest list grows once again, and a fun punchline offers a clever coda. Novak skillfully balances the gruesome factor with a spoof on spookiness while delivering a message about acceptance and tolerance with a very light touch. Ages 3-6.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
These days it seems I spend a lot of time watching Noggin. If you don’t know what that is, you don’t have a 2-year-old. The latest and greatest show is called Ni-hao Kai-Lan.
[note: I think this show is actually on Nick Jr. Whatever.]
It should be insufferably and offensively cute, the kind of cute that makes you want to go kick a small animal just to balance out the cosmic scale, but actually it is just plain cute. Stupidly so. I love it. My entire household is obsessed with it, and we all have our favorite characters. I like Tolee, a koala bear who is obsessed with pandas. He wears panda shirts, and panda slippers. The Littledoo is into Ho-Ho the monkey.
Plus, we’re all learning Mandarin.
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